Friday, 12 July 2019

Words of Advice to yourself NOW!

I had a discussion with a friend this week about body confidence and how we were both at a stage in our lives where we are more at peace with our bodies and less obsessed about achieving something that's not meant to be for us. But we're still hard on ourselves too - there's always that niggle about being a bit slimmer, a bit taller, a bit less lumpy (or a bit more (lady) lumpy in some places!)

And it got me thinking about the memes and blog posts you see about 'what you'd tell your 18 year old self'. The wise words we wish we could have told ourselves back when we were insecure and before we'd gone through our roller coaster 20's and 30's.

Why not flip it and thing about what you'd tell your current self in 20 or 30 years time. Because it's a much more useful exercise than reminiscing about what you wish you'd known. Actually remind yourself what your priorities should be right now - I think we know what those things are already. But we push them to the back of our minds and hope that they'll sort themselves out at some stage.

So to kick things off, here are my 5, in no particular order

  1. Shop less and save more - don't ignore the pension fund.
  2. Get stronger - you need to build all the muscle you can now to keep upright and mobile later.
  3. Don't feel guilty about having me-time - the kids will fly the nest soon and you need to enjoy time away from them now to prepare you for this new stage in your life.
  4. Be bolshy & stop people pleasing - say no more often!
  5. Spend less time on your phone - be more present.
Of course, it's all very well saying this...what am I going to do about it?

Number 1 is where I'm starting and it's a few weeks away but I've decided to make September a shopping free month. I've noticed myself creeping back into a habit of buying bits here and there that I can do without and mindful of finances and the impact on the environment, I'm going to push myself to have a month off. Could it be the start of something more permanent? Will I be able to save some cash during this month? Let's see and why not come join me?

Number 2 sees me back at the gym again this week - I've missed my pump classes for a while due to injury and I'm determined to get the strength back to what it was a few months ago. I feel SO strongly about this - deterioration in old age is directly linked to balance and falls - in turn is linked to lack of strength in many cases as muscle mass & bone strength starts to decline even before the menopause.

I'm good at my me-time but I do feel guilty about it so I'm working on Number 3 too. It's actually shocking how suddenly your kids are up and doing their own thing and you're left a little redundant so I can imagine how it must feel when they finally leave home! The blog is a wonderful outlet for me in terms of friendship and getting out and about so I'm ever blessed to have it and the people I've met through it.

I'll be honest and say I don't think I'll ever crack Number 4...it's in my nature and maybe it's not such a bad thing in some cases. However I'm quite good at being bossy with the blog so maybe that's the starting point...working out how to expand this in a nice way to other aspects of my life.

And well Number 5 - I think we all know this is an issue. I've tried in recent weeks and months to spend time away from the phone and it's not easy. I find it easier to do it when I'm on holiday or with friends - I'm ok with not sharing every single moment but I'm not so good about putting the phone down when I'm home alone or travelling etc. A work in progress.

But actually, it's been really therapeutic typing these out - a good starting point for some half year resolutions....do let me know what yours are in the comments below (or via email/Social DM)

Ax
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4 comments

  1. Brilliant post Avril, I am older than you and most certainly not wiser ! How true are those 5 things. I am going to concentrate on point one, not purely for the cost, but I am buying clothes to fit my 'weight gain' body and really I should be putting more effort into losing weight and getting into the piles of clothes I already own( though I suspect the charity shop will benefit greatly at some point either way !!!) Point 2.....getting stronger that is up there with point 1 and of course the other points are important too. I might make August my non shopping month as I will be too tempted in September by new stock and my healthy regime should start now !!! Thanks again, great post x

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    1. Ah I'm so glad you enjoyed it...it was very useful to put into words. Has got me thinking lots and has encouraged me to return some of what I've bought in the sales in the past week....Thanks for taking the time to message x

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  2. Great post! I'm off to write my 5 priority points down for living life well and preparing for later life. I'm in my 'middle-age' now, and EVERYTHING is changing - especially how much my body has softened. Such a good idea to have some words to focus on and be bossy to our future self! Thank you Avril, be blessed xx

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  3. Really enjoyed reading this "words of advice" post - totally support the idea of buying less... would love to see some posts from you taking a key item of clothing which readers will probably all have, and looking at several different ways to wear it! Just a thought - I really like to idea of trying to create different looks from one item and seeing how other re-cycle their clothing! Less is more! Ali

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I love reading your comments and will reply as soon as I can if you have a specific question. If for any reason, you are unable to leave a comment, just drop me an email at avril@alifetostyle.com or leave a comment on the A Life to Style Facebook Page! Thank you xx

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